Lunch Time

Is there really a better treat than lunch at Chipotle? Thanks, Mom!

Actually, I do need to give them some credit. They have managed to create a kid’s meal that my child will actually eat and is not going to saddle her with diabetes before she knows how to tie her shoes (by the way, when should she learn how to tie her shoes?). A chipotle kid’s meal consists of: A small cheese quesadilla – that we add veggies to -- black beans, rice, and milk. Yes, it is packed with sodium and my guess is that they put a lot more cheese on the quesadilla than necessary, but it is fast food. It is a treat. Like candy. You don’t give it to them every day.

As you can see from the picture, Olive devoured the quesadilla and is pointing to the site of its death.  She has come a long way from this.

(And just if you were wondering…no, I didn’t receive any goods or service in exchange for this post. Simply thought it was a cute picture of a little girl who just destroyed a quesadilla like it made fun of her mother.) 

Cleaning Out the Notebook...

Random assortment of thoughts and recent dealings with two kids:

• Thank you, Disney’s “Pocahontas”, for prompting my first conversation on race with my two-year-old daughter. “Why are they fighting, daddy? Why they no like him?” Chalk this up as one of the many conversations I will be forced to have with my daughter LONG before I am prepared to actually have them.
• Asher is now entering the “I Want To Put Everything In My Mouth” stage of development, which means the “I’m Going to Constantly Have a Runny Nose and Ear Infection” stage can’t be too far behind.
• Do you ever notice that we really ask about other people’s kids so we can have an excuse to talk about our own. “Hey, how is Jane doing?” “She is great, thanks. Starting to walk.” “Oh yeah? Let me tell you about when my kid started to learn to walk!”
• Sticking Olive in a jog stroller and taking her for a run any longer than thirty minutes might be her version of water-boarding.
• Checked out pre-schools in my area today. One Montessori school charges $24,000 a year for pre-school. And they close in the summer and the school day ends at 2:00 PM. I don’t know who this Montessori guy was, but apparently he has a REALLY expensive method of educating kids. Like using gold-plated crayons or having naptime on a mattress stuffed with $50 dollar bills.
• It has been pointed out more than once that I need to update the masthead of the blog to reflect that fact that I have more than one child. Ever think that I just love Olive more? KIDDING!
• Olive has now developed the habit of asking us to make up songs on the spot to sing to her at bed-time. She throws out a topic and we act as composer/improve actor. Last night I had to sing the “Sally and Nick Song”. Olive had to explain to me that they are the characters from Cat in the Hat. This was a new one. I have also had to sing songs about: Captain Hook, Wendy, Peter Pan, Pocahontas, Toy Story, Jessie, Woody and Buzz from Toy Story, Asher, several relatives, friends from day care, and penguins.
• Olive has also taken to telling me to “Just try it” when I tell her I can’t do something. A typical exchange will go like this: Olive: “Daddy, jump on the bed with me!” Me: “I can’t, Olive. I’m too big.” Olive, with comforting voice and outstretched hand: “Just try it. Just try it, Daddy.” She might have a career in motivational speaking.
• Every new day I spend as a happily married father of two who shares care of my children with an amazing wife and mother I have more and more respect for single parents. I cannot even fathom how you do it. I would implode.
• Olive told me that she needs to get her snow hat out soon to keep herself warm. Crazy to think how much two-year-olds remember and understand. She now gets the concept of seasons. Yet she still can’t manage to not piss her pants.
• Asher is a constant reminder to me that I am still a novice at this parenting game and that every child is different. His personality and his first four months have been completely different than Olive’s. Yes, of course I am better prepared, but I’m learning new things every second I spend with my two kids.
• Also, I will leave you with this...little kids in big sunglasses never gets old.

Why?

 “Why, Daddy? Why?”

Olive now says those words roughly 4,729 times per day. We have officially reached the Why Stage. This closely follows on the heels of the Doing Stage where Olive would start off every conversation with a simple question: “Doing?” It could have meant “how are you doing?” or “what are you doing?” or “why are you doing that?” or even, when speaking over the phone “where are you?” Now she is more concerned about why we are doing what we are doing.

As a parent you try your best to give answers, but eventually the little inquisitor breaks you down.

“Daddy, what are you doing?”

“I’m giving Asher his bottle”

“Why?”

“Because he is hungry.”

“Why?”

“Because he hasn’t had dinner yet.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t his dinner time.”

“Why?”

“Hey, would you like to watch some Dora?”

“Yes.”

I’m convinced that if we used two-year-olds to interview criminals we could get confessions for every crime.

“Where are the stolen guns?”

“I didn’t steal any guns.”

“Why?”

“Because I was out with my girlfriend when the guns were stolen.”

“Why?”

“Because she wanted to go out to dinner.”

“Why?”

“Because she said I didn’t spend enough time with her.”

“Why?”

“Oh dear God, I don’t know. Please, just make her stop asking why. I will tell you anything you want!”

Really, when she starts to ask “why” I start breaking out in a cold sweat because I know it will take me a good ten minutes to distract her away from the line of questioning. She also tends to go into a trance-like state when asking “why”…the outside world disappears and all she can focus on is the “why”.

So yesterday I introduced a new strategy, I decided to answer her as honestly and fully as possible. Here is how the conversation went.

“Okay, Olive, we need to go home now.”

“Why?”

“Because it is getting dark.”

“Why?”

“Because the sun is going down.”

“Why?”

“Why is the sun going down?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well, do you know how we see the stars up in the sky when it is dark out?”

“Yeah.”

Deep breath….

“Well, the sun is a big star and it is at the center of our solar system. The Earth, which we live on, is one of those planets. Our earth rotates on an axis, sort of like you spinning around. When the earth rotates, that means part of the earth is facing the sun, and some of the earth is facing away from the sun. When the sun rises in the morning it means that the earth has rotated so that the part of the planet we live on is starting to face the sun. When the sun goes down it means that our part is turning away from the sun. The sun is still there and shining, we just aren’t facing it. Kind of like when you turn your back towards a bright light. When it is dark here, the sun is shining on a different part of the earth. It takes one full day for the earth to rotate all the way around. The earth also orbits the sun and one trip around the sun equals a year. Part of the reason it is getting dark now, earlier than it was at the beginning of the summer, has to do with the earth being tilted on its axis, but that is a whole different discussion”

Pause…

“Oh.”

Victory is mine.

I can’t wait till she asks why I am eating so I can explain the digestive system.