Sometimes You Have to Feed the Crazy -- Part Two

Yep, this is what we have come too. It is all the rage on the news – Google lists 165 news stories on it, but since it has been on The View, harbinger of all things crazy, I’m sure it will get more attention. It has also been on every silly “Mommy Blog” known to man. I’m a “Daddy Blogger”—huge distinction. So, here it goes. Ladies and Gentleman, there is now a doll that mimics breastfeeding. Not only does it mimic the eating process, but it comes with a special strap-on nursing halter top that allows little girls to mimic the feeding process. The halter top has two pink daisies on it that substitute for nipples. Wow.

Okay, I’m sure there are going to be people who say, “Well, breastfeeding is better for babies so why do we encourage little girls to feed their dolls with bottles.” I don’t know, the same reason we don’t have Barbies that have a menstrual cycle? True, breastfeeding is natural and toddlers with younger brothers or sisters learn about it at a very young age, but they learn about it by watching mommy do it. Why do we need little girls pretending to do this? I mean, it took my wife a while to learn to breastfeed and I’m pretty sure she knew the basic function for a while.

This has caused quite a bit of debate, actually. Some have said this over-sexualizes our young girls, others say it is perfectly natural. Another daddy blogger was apparently chastised so much that he had to issue an apology! I understand why the breastfeeding community can get defensive when people criticize the practice, primarily because most of the criticism is ignorant and demeaning. But this is a doll! A child’s toy! We don't need our little girls (or boys, I mean, anyone can strap on the magic feeding halter, and boys do have nipples, right?) pretending to do everything that mommy does. Also, why do we need a special doll to do this. If you your daughter makes the decision to breats rather than bottle feed her doll -- can't she just pretend to do it without the special bra? Call me crazy, but for some reason the idea of my daughter someday strapping on a crazy fake bra and feeding her doll with a fake flower-shaped, pink nipple just freaks me out. But after a doll that gets a temperature, a stuffy nose, and poops and pees, there was nowhere else to go but up.

Also, I predict that this becomes a hot joke gift for expectant dads at baby showers. In fact, I might get one right now.